Elena Gilbert (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
braveandstupid) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
velocityofsaul2011-10-22 07:42 pm
braveandstupid) wrote in velocityofsaul2011-10-22 07:42 pm
Entry tags:
lancer } { and even though it all went wrong, i'll stand before the lord of song
Isobel once told her that so long as she had a Salvatore on each arm, she was doomed.
It took her another year to really understand what that meant.
Klaus, losing Stefan, seeing what a monster he’d become in the process—it was enough for her to see that vampires in her life were only going to lead to more heartache and pain. She should have walked away from it all, long ago, and if she didn’t love him, she would have, but in the end, she learned that love was never going to be enough.
She loved Stefan. She would always love Stefan. But she needed to live, and she couldn’t do that clinging to someone who was already dead. She needed to stop fighting for Stefan and start fighting for herself.
It was a late night around Christmas when she made the decision. She had done all the obligatory applying to the schools that everyone expected her to apply to—ivy league schools where she would have her future ahead of her and no reason to look back. She was sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the night, and the realization hits her like a smack in the face. The only way she was going to get what she wanted was to get away. The postcard for Lancer was sitting on the kitchen counter. She took a risk and she ran with it.
Getting in was easy. Getting away without anyone realizing was harder.
A lot of it was lying. She didn’t like doing it, but aside from Jeremy and Alaric, no one knew she was going to Lancer, and everyone thought she was going to Brown. It was the only way that she could get away clean, and she apparently was a much better liar than she thought she was. It came with all the years of practice she had gotten in Mystic Falls, but this was easier than all of that. Maybe because it came with the feeling that she was doing the right thing, for once.
The night before she left for Lancer, Alaric loaded her up with a trunk of vervain, stakes, and other kinds of vampire repellant. He made her another vervain bracelet to replace the one that Katherine had stolen, and lectured her on the fact that just because she wasn’t in Mystic Falls anymore didn’t mean that vampires weren’t still going to be a threat. She needed to be careful who she invited in, and make sure she had vervain on her at all times.
She hugged him and told him that she’d miss him too.
The one thing she wouldn’t take from him was his ring. She may have been leaving Mystic Falls, but he was the one who was stuck here with Damon.
She didn’t say goodbye. She packed up her car that night, and left early in the morning. As far as she was concerned, it was better for everyone that way.
***
Arriving on campus, she already knew that things were different. There was no feeling of fear. No constantly looking over her shoulder, no waiting for something that wasn’t there. The people in Lancer could walk in the sunlight and were bogged down by years of history and fear. No werewolves. No vampires.
Just people.
She checked in, got directions to her dorm, and quietly made her way into the building. She was probably the only person around who didn’t have parents or siblings helping her, and there was still that small pang of missing her parents, and wanting them to have been here for this. They were still with her. They would always be with her, but it wouldn’t ever be the same.
The pang faded, however, the minute she arrived at her dorm room door. This was where it all became official. This was the first step of her new life, and she was going to do it right. She was going to do it well. She could hear someone already moving around inside, and she took a deep breath, before reaching for the doorknob and pasting on a smile, ready to greet her new roommate.
The door open, she turned, and what she saw was the last thing on earth she expected.
“Bonnie?!”
It took her another year to really understand what that meant.
Klaus, losing Stefan, seeing what a monster he’d become in the process—it was enough for her to see that vampires in her life were only going to lead to more heartache and pain. She should have walked away from it all, long ago, and if she didn’t love him, she would have, but in the end, she learned that love was never going to be enough.
She loved Stefan. She would always love Stefan. But she needed to live, and she couldn’t do that clinging to someone who was already dead. She needed to stop fighting for Stefan and start fighting for herself.
It was a late night around Christmas when she made the decision. She had done all the obligatory applying to the schools that everyone expected her to apply to—ivy league schools where she would have her future ahead of her and no reason to look back. She was sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the night, and the realization hits her like a smack in the face. The only way she was going to get what she wanted was to get away. The postcard for Lancer was sitting on the kitchen counter. She took a risk and she ran with it.
Getting in was easy. Getting away without anyone realizing was harder.
A lot of it was lying. She didn’t like doing it, but aside from Jeremy and Alaric, no one knew she was going to Lancer, and everyone thought she was going to Brown. It was the only way that she could get away clean, and she apparently was a much better liar than she thought she was. It came with all the years of practice she had gotten in Mystic Falls, but this was easier than all of that. Maybe because it came with the feeling that she was doing the right thing, for once.
The night before she left for Lancer, Alaric loaded her up with a trunk of vervain, stakes, and other kinds of vampire repellant. He made her another vervain bracelet to replace the one that Katherine had stolen, and lectured her on the fact that just because she wasn’t in Mystic Falls anymore didn’t mean that vampires weren’t still going to be a threat. She needed to be careful who she invited in, and make sure she had vervain on her at all times.
She hugged him and told him that she’d miss him too.
The one thing she wouldn’t take from him was his ring. She may have been leaving Mystic Falls, but he was the one who was stuck here with Damon.
She didn’t say goodbye. She packed up her car that night, and left early in the morning. As far as she was concerned, it was better for everyone that way.
***
Arriving on campus, she already knew that things were different. There was no feeling of fear. No constantly looking over her shoulder, no waiting for something that wasn’t there. The people in Lancer could walk in the sunlight and were bogged down by years of history and fear. No werewolves. No vampires.
Just people.
She checked in, got directions to her dorm, and quietly made her way into the building. She was probably the only person around who didn’t have parents or siblings helping her, and there was still that small pang of missing her parents, and wanting them to have been here for this. They were still with her. They would always be with her, but it wouldn’t ever be the same.
The pang faded, however, the minute she arrived at her dorm room door. This was where it all became official. This was the first step of her new life, and she was going to do it right. She was going to do it well. She could hear someone already moving around inside, and she took a deep breath, before reaching for the doorknob and pasting on a smile, ready to greet her new roommate.
The door open, she turned, and what she saw was the last thing on earth she expected.
“Bonnie?!”
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Bonnie greeted her best friend with a smile, though she was a little nervous about how she was going to react. As far as anyone else knew, she was supposed to be in North Carolina, and Elena clearly wanted everyone to think she was at Brown.
She hoped for excitement, but was prepared for something worse.
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She was surprised, and confused, and each phase of the emotions she's feeling pass over her face almost as quickly as they hit her, but in the end, it all melts into a smile. The hows and whys don't really matter. What mattered, was that it was Bonnie and she was here, and Elena had never felt so much relief in her life.
She placed her box down on the empty bed next to her, before making her way across the room to her best friend. "What are you doing here?"
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"Alaric didn't think you should be here alone."
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Bonnie was open to anything.
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The subject changed as they strolled by the Hellcats practicing outside.
"You know, if they end up needing anybody else, I might try out for cheerleading." Which she hadn't done since Grams died, but now that she thought about it, she missed it.
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"You could always come watch."
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And with that they reach the door of The Rat, and Elena pulls open the door with a small smile. "After you."
And with that, they have a lovely lunch.